Skeltons in the Closet?

        Okay, so the last couple of days I have had these weird dreams. The first thing is that I have been able to remember my own dreams. But they are always so unrelated. At first it was just violent dreams, the first one was like a month and a half ago now. I was walking with Jenisse and some dude was trying to hollar and she was like this is my man keep it moving, and when i turned three guys were grabbing her chest and ass. I lost my cool, then i remember looking over the first dude had literally a broken face blood all over the floor and my hands. Jenisse was horrified and ran away from me. This has happened a few more time but with out Jenisse, usually the scenario was they tried to jump me.  Now here is the ones that really got me thinkng, lately I have been thinking about how to try and get Jenisse back, well I wanted to talk to her father first and apologize and tell him how I feel, then he gets really angry because of how I hurt his daughter and he tells me that I can't be with her and that if I stay  there he is gonna kick my ass. And I tell him that I will do ANYTHING to be with his daughter and he hits me in the jaw. Well I get back up spit out blood and say " Is that all? Or I got to take more?"I

    You know how people say we all have our own demons or skeletons to deal with, well my demons actually scare me. When  I was young I actually had this kinda problem, I was beyond just "angry"  I actually would just be almost evil. I would beat kids up till they bled or till I got what I want, I finally was put into Football and Anger Management.But I feel like that little angry boy is trying to get out these days, like can you have a re-lapse like a drugy? I really hope not, I hope this is just because of the stress and heart sore that I have been that I am just short fused.

Love in a nut shell

So in my last couple of blogs I stated how much I really like that girl jenisse and how we started dating, well this is a quick update. Yeah we aren't "dating" anymore and I'll explain why. At first it was just something positive to help her, she has to take care of her crazy nieces and the house, so basically play mother, while her mother was in Putero Rico burying her mom. So, yeah, she was kinda stressed, with the end of school plus playing mom. So me being the caring fellow I am thought that, the fact that she is kinda upset that we cannot actually be physically together, that I would allow us to go on a "break". Well forgetting that she hates that term she bugged out. And we ended up breaking up completely. Now we are so far gone that I have one last idea and if it don't work out, well I'm screwed. So her it is, over ther summer months I am literally going to save every penny I get to do the following:



Get a motorcycle- $1,500-$2,000
Get my License- $350.00
Rent x2 months- $1,000
Gas(both for trip and time) + Food expenses- $500-$1,000


My plan is that if I move down there the whole long distant thing will be done, therefore my over paranoid mine will be at rest and I can be with her. Also her father told Jeisse that I could move into his wife's house ( Jenisse house). Although its not a bad idea it wouldn't be permanent and I would contribute both in labor and $$