Re-evaluation

So with the holiday’s right around the corner I haven’t had much time to seat down and try to think of things to write. But here is the latest batch of updated. Hopefully soon I will be completely converted to video blogging (or vloggin) and might only do updated to minor errors or further explain.

So far the bike has pretty much been put on hold, so far there isn’t much I can do with the weather getting colder and also losing my only key.  I have spent some days looking for it, and in my despair, have come up empty. Now the good news is that A. I can hard wire a switch to eliminate the need for the key, problem is that the key also controls the gas tank cap and helmet lock. So in the end I am going to be forced to get the key. After finding the key though I will run the bike with some carb. cleaner top off the gas and finally put the beast in its home for the winter. Over the winter however I plan on stacking some parts to the side so the first warmer weekend of the new season I can throw everything or most new parts and ideas on. This, I hope, will eliminate unnecessary down time for the bike and also keeping me from doing unnecessary amounts of work. For example taking the whole bike apart to re-do or install and new part to find out the new parts I ordered after have to be placed in there too. Some new advances I have made are going to be sutle I found that I need about 400$, plus what ever the paint job costs, to finish the bike at 100% and be finally done with something to be proud about. Most of the work is cosmetic so there wont be much money but time spent.

New ideas and old ideas have clashed against time, money and reality. I wanted to give my motorcycle an old school chopper look without comprising too much from stock and have a “kid” bike as well. What I mean by this is the sleek mean chopper look with neon light speakers all the gizmos and gadgets that my generation is into. But overall the bike is being made to be an ever day rider and trip bike, and the cheap parts will help keep this going for a long time. Some of the new plans that I have come crossed and thought of are as followed.

I was inspired by “The Transporter” series of movies, with the high tech looking vehicle the main charter drove, mostly the keypad start. Simple in theory I was brain storming ways to get that technology the shrink down to a motorcycle. The problem is that there is no room for the wring and creating a new module for a bike whose wiring is old school and at the basics. So in the end that idea was scrapped for a new project.  The first upgrades that will be going on the bike is converting all the lights to LED and wiring in green LED light under the bike fender and engine. The ground effects are going to be wired from the break light to a flip switch that is going to be mounted under neath or behind the seat, with the iginition switch/key. I am hoping with the LED being low in power consumption, that any additional componets added will still be undervolting the original design. Also moving the switch and key to the under seat location if hopefully going to make the overall bike a sleeker look while giving me the easy of opting in or out of turing on ground effects. Also with very little work I could toggle the switch while either riding or stoped at a light.  Next step is going to be to install the new chopper-style seat I have. I plan on removing the break light/turn signal fixture off the back fender and doing a “typical” side bracket designed break light. Then I am going to cut back the fender slightly to give a “chopped” look, since more tire will be exposed.

That is the extent of the hard work the rest will consist of getting new progressive shocks to give the slanted look, cleaning up the rust that has built up on the engine and micellanous places. For the seasons after next I will have the entire bike re-painted, while that is being done I want to get new “ape” style handle bars to finish off the chopper style.

Full Review of Mods

 Modification to my bike have been seldom so far removing parts such as the luggage rack and sissy bar to give the motorcycle a better smoother look.

 After which the seat and suspension system is still a little high for my taste. I decided I would want a simplfied chopper look overall.

 Although the bike is over thirty years old, it has been pretty well matinanioede with minmual damage.

 This is the extent of th e damage done, small minor rust marks( right side clutch case)

 Rust in enalbiable, but there isnt much this is the deepest rust.







I really enjoy the "star" like design on the bike it gives it a very cool "retro" look. But the overall design looks kinda " new school"

 Another major issue I found with older bikes was dents in the gas tank, and shown in the picture no dents!

After a small accident I broke one of the turn signals.







 On the other hand the  the right side is in good shape but overall I don't like either one.

#TeamSuzki

 

I added a new seat to give it that chopper.

Rain Sleet Snow and Mods

My weekend summed up was very relaxing but way to fast.

Friday I didn't do anything just played video games and did some research. On Saturday, it started th same as Friday got up playrd some video games and looked for my key to my motorcycle, then I went to my Uncle Charlie's house and had a Halloween Party. Although it wasn't a party that I could fully enjoy I tried my best, and over all I think it was sucessful. And Sunday was another lazy day going to make some chicken wings and fell asleep early. I am going to post up some videos and links to mods for my motorcycle and some pictures and videos from the snow/rain we got Saturday.

Freedoms, thieves, and projects

Well up till now this has been just a place for me to put thoughts well I do now want to start doing some videos and blog to put pictures up and kinda have a digital copy of my life. Well time to catch up on past events to get up to speed.

    First I crashed my bike into my neighbors car, the bad part is that at the time I had no insurance. My cuz moved in and between him and my Uncle Joe, I no longer have a desire to knbow them. My grandmothers house thewas sold which, for partys involvled is great, but for me isn't the best of things. Eveything is well with my mother and Uncle Charlie, my father on the other and is something diffrent. I am working full time and in the process of opening my own company, and I got my first client.

   My motorcycle didn't get banged up too bad I riped the left grip, scuffed the clutch case and broke. A turn signal. Since then I have pulled off the rack from the back and sissy bar. I plan on replacing the seat with a chopper style seat, replace the "bunny ear" style turn signals to shorter led turn signals, also install blue led street glow in the undercarage, install apm with.  Aux imput and speaker/s, replace the clutch case, grips and shifter lever with newer and nicer ones. And finnally remove Suzuki emblems and repaint and shine what needs to be.

   My "love" s vacant and nevertheless undesirable. I have given up on the whole love thing. I have lost a litlte weight and kina buffed up a bit.

Real world VS Fake Work

I really think that sometimes I was born in the wrong era, in this world the people who can lie and fake a better life are the ones who get future in life. Rather then the real hustler and the real people that go threw struggles. Someone once told me that is a shame to have scares on your back, thats why all mine are on the front of me. See the people who act like the people on TV, that live home with their parents till they are thirty and waste money on fancy cars and cloths rather then education.  I guess that this point if you can't beat them join em?

Skeltons in the Closet?

        Okay, so the last couple of days I have had these weird dreams. The first thing is that I have been able to remember my own dreams. But they are always so unrelated. At first it was just violent dreams, the first one was like a month and a half ago now. I was walking with Jenisse and some dude was trying to hollar and she was like this is my man keep it moving, and when i turned three guys were grabbing her chest and ass. I lost my cool, then i remember looking over the first dude had literally a broken face blood all over the floor and my hands. Jenisse was horrified and ran away from me. This has happened a few more time but with out Jenisse, usually the scenario was they tried to jump me.  Now here is the ones that really got me thinkng, lately I have been thinking about how to try and get Jenisse back, well I wanted to talk to her father first and apologize and tell him how I feel, then he gets really angry because of how I hurt his daughter and he tells me that I can't be with her and that if I stay  there he is gonna kick my ass. And I tell him that I will do ANYTHING to be with his daughter and he hits me in the jaw. Well I get back up spit out blood and say " Is that all? Or I got to take more?"I

    You know how people say we all have our own demons or skeletons to deal with, well my demons actually scare me. When  I was young I actually had this kinda problem, I was beyond just "angry"  I actually would just be almost evil. I would beat kids up till they bled or till I got what I want, I finally was put into Football and Anger Management.But I feel like that little angry boy is trying to get out these days, like can you have a re-lapse like a drugy? I really hope not, I hope this is just because of the stress and heart sore that I have been that I am just short fused.

Love in a nut shell

So in my last couple of blogs I stated how much I really like that girl jenisse and how we started dating, well this is a quick update. Yeah we aren't "dating" anymore and I'll explain why. At first it was just something positive to help her, she has to take care of her crazy nieces and the house, so basically play mother, while her mother was in Putero Rico burying her mom. So, yeah, she was kinda stressed, with the end of school plus playing mom. So me being the caring fellow I am thought that, the fact that she is kinda upset that we cannot actually be physically together, that I would allow us to go on a "break". Well forgetting that she hates that term she bugged out. And we ended up breaking up completely. Now we are so far gone that I have one last idea and if it don't work out, well I'm screwed. So her it is, over ther summer months I am literally going to save every penny I get to do the following:



Get a motorcycle- $1,500-$2,000
Get my License- $350.00
Rent x2 months- $1,000
Gas(both for trip and time) + Food expenses- $500-$1,000


My plan is that if I move down there the whole long distant thing will be done, therefore my over paranoid mine will be at rest and I can be with her. Also her father told Jeisse that I could move into his wife's house ( Jenisse house). Although its not a bad idea it wouldn't be permanent and I would contribute both in labor and $$

Life

So as you may already know me and Jenisse have really started a real relationship in the long distnat type. most people accually do not approve of long distant because of the things you miss because you aren't able to be with each other. I do belive being unable to kiss or hug you signficant other does put a diffrent spin on your relationship. Well today I was watching "True Life: I am relocating for love" and really almost started taking notes. But I did notice one thing, that me and Jenisse are deffinitly on a better track then what these kids were. I mean I do belive that seeing someone and talking to them is diffrent. This is why, on the phone or even on Skype or OovoO you can controll what the other person sees. Unlike these people in the show me and Jenisse have seen the best and worst in each other.

     I do believe this helps a couple really trend on the healthier side of a relationship so I do think that me or her moving to the other state wouldn't be so bad. Personally I would love for her to come up here but I am really trying to help weigh all the options for both of us though My main thing that is really hard to cope with is the heat and the way the jobs work down there. My cuz was telling me that down there they are a "right to work" state. He explained that means that they think if you want to work y ou will work as we say, example is if you work for $18/hr and they cut your pay you just bite the bullet or quit. This is kinda smart as far as a company cause you can get workers to work cheap but personally unless necessary I wouldn't do it, it's just morally wrong. But I know she is conformable there so it's kinda hard to keep that up as well. But up here there is issues to besides the winter, which is a problem it self, she might not be able to get the schooling she would like the way she wants.  So I am not sure what is best for us, but I know we are best for each other.

Life Love

So this seems to be my  first really good post in a while I guess. Jenisse finally broke up with her boyfriend Danny, and me and her are doing well. She is everything I want in a woman and more but there is a few things I think about in the negativie. Mostly the whole looks things, because Jenssie is good looking and I am well, not so much, she gets kinda down on her self that she can't get a good looking guy. I kinda get mad at myself for not being as good looking as some of the guys she wants to be with.

Rock and a Hard place

Again I am writing in this blog to help relive myself of pain that I have gotten over the last couple of hours. I really hope that someone reads this and can help me out. So yesterday till today went from great to bad in a couple of hours. During the day Jenisse and I have really started to get close we cuddled and just made a lot of leeway. But that's the good news, the bad is her ex-boyfriend came over, Lucas, one of the biggest a-hole ex`s that she still has as friends. First impressions is this guy wants to have sex with Jenisse. Again knowing how much  I care and respect Jenisse I grinned and bared his presence and eventually left to take a shower and layed down because I felt sick to my stomach holding back. After about an hours or so I went to see how everything was to find that Lucas and Jenisse was no wear to be found, I felt so light headed for no reason that I stepped out side, I heard a ruckus inside her mother room and realized that both of them were in the shower. Honestly both of them in the shower didn't both me, what bothered me is that I am WAY better for her then Lucas and Danny ( her current boyfriend) and yet Lucas was the one in the shower with her. So I had enough, obviously I wasn't as high on the totem-pole as I thought and started t threw I to pack my stuff. Half way threw I decided that I would wait till the morning to see what she had to say, on the way in Jenisse came outside with nothing but a towel to talk to me. Come to find out that she wanted Lucas to be that "gay friend" every woman wants and he just wanted to have sex with her. And Lucas wasn't gonna take no for an answer and forced himself on her, she begged that i didn't go in and kill the kid that she would handle it but in my heart a piece broke off. I just hope that she will open up more cause again I spent most of my night watching her sleep cause she was crying.

Last Day?

Technically this is the last day i will be in Florida, the reason I say last is because of packing time and trying to get ready for my trip. The only thing that I really regret is not getting all my answeres that I wanted. The reason is because I really like this girl and want to make her happy and I think I can. Today she admitted that she feels better around me like less headaches and she smiles so much more. Also most of my family loves her already and notices when I am talking to her. Thought I left that detail out when I told he that the most important people in my life about her and that they all love her except my mom, which is because she doesn't undertstand how I can like a girl that has a girlfirend/ likes girls. Chantel has been too much help in this realtionship and she tihn\ks that we are or would be a good couple and have fun and so on. My whole thing is the boyfriend, and the distance, I mean I could stay here in FL and try and make things work but I can't help thing what my dad said about staying here and getting screwed. I know Jenisse would not purposely do that but Mother Nature and Father time are the ones in control. I wish it was cut and dry like tell me to stay or go. Honestly I don't wanna leave.

What to do

So the last couple of posts were very dramatic and lets just say that I have an update. Well like always my self concious is the reason Mr and jenisse aren't together.... yet.but I am staying confiedent because she did tell me that she likes me. The only thong I am worried about is tthat I am leaving in a couple of days and feel like if I leave her feelings will too. One us is after we talked about it our communicator was really good like we can talk about anything, I wont lie it still freaks me put how well me and her get a long. Got to take a shower willl continue after

Relationship

This is the most commonly discussed subject, so here is my problem. For the last couple of days I have basicly lived at my friend Jenisse house, which means almost ever waking moment is shared by each other. So what does that truely mean? As I stated in my last posts I have some feelings for this girl prior to me coming over here. Mostly because she is cute and not stuck up, but I do belive that you can tell what or how a person is going to be after meeting them. Cause to be honest I met her threw Facebook and talked, texted and skyped a few times but no matter how many days you talk to someone if you don't see them I belive that you don't know them truely. Here is my example, when you are upset or pissed off and you don't have to see someone when they call or text you can just ignore it or say your busy. But with that being said when you meet somoene they also can hide things from you, but what about when you live in their house? I have seen Jenisse from bad to worse and good to great and let me just say in a fucked up way I envy Whitney and her current boyfriend, which for me is way out of charater. The only thing that really bothers me is that she said her boyfriend treats her like crap. Again the nice guy finished last? Any way so she told me he hits her and ignores her and what not, so that really makes me think that if I looked better not only could I have a girl like Jenisse but wouldn't have to try hard. The only thing that really bothers me about Jenisse is that she says that if she was single she would date me, but she is never single. Again I know she likes some other dude from NY and I know that he is probally better lookiung then me or better equpit to be with Jenisse but I guess even mad men can drream right. I have to start writing my feelings down in here so that I don't say it out loud like I did the other day. Cause she is sweet and trys to say I am a stronger man then some of the other dudes she talks to cause I can talk bout how i feel, but I feel like a pansy when I talk to her about it. Espically when I basicly "confess my love" to her on the beach. But thank god I think she just ignoerd the fat ugly dude that said it. Also my cuz fiance doesn't help either, I was talking to her, mostly cause she was curious about my feeling towards Jennise, about how everything is happening between me and Jenises.And insteard of trying to help me with it she tells me that I should just straight up kiss the girl and see what happens, because obivoualy she has something for me to be at her house. My whole thing about it is I don't wanna lose her friendship nor do I wanna make thing awkward. I must say anyone who is pathetic enough to read this is going to think I am the biggest puss in the world. And I will admit that I do sound like a bitching woman, but I don't know whats wrong with me. Maybe I got bite by the love bug and I'm allergic.

Cut

I think it might be time to cut Jenisse out of my life, mostly because of the fact that she is too good for me. But also cause I can't stand to watch  her going around and doing what she is doing right now. Over the last couple of days I have found out that although she has claimed to be completly diffrent from the rest of the girl populations that she is accually just as naive to a adegree. For example her boyfriend doesn't see her that much and also,which came to a surprise, he hit her. Why is it that the cute girls that have the whole package is the one that takes the most crap from people. Persoanlly I want to tell her to dump him and not to give him more time to chance, when will people learn nobody changes, but again being the nice guy that I am I want her to be happy. Also I know that I am no better than any other guy for her, if not worse. Like I told her today, it's not because I have a lot of menta issues or something, its because I'm not good look. And she states that looks don't matter she to her, but evidence against her shows a different pictures, again the "sute" guy she is with now. Also I might as well get this off my chest too . I am starting to remeber some of what her and a friend of her's was talking about on the phone, she told him that she wants to see a guy in NY that she really likes, I don't know who it is but I can guess it's probably Jose. Again I will be alone, forever. Born alone die alone.

Concern

I am really starting to get concerned for my own mental state. After being forced into telling Jenisse how I feel things started getting kinda different. Like I am not saying it got weird but like I feel if I lived here and looked better I would be able to actually have a chance

Life

Well I totally messed up anything between me and jenisse I think I am going to tell her how I feel in Monday before I leave so that it wont ruin my weekend or hers. Plus not to mention the fact that I doubt she will go for the idea. I think honestly that her talking to Johnathan is what gets me upset cause I know how he is.

Lame

So I thought maybe I was above the type of bullshit that guys do to women, I must confess that I am not. More like I have my own way of doing it.

I have a general question to post up more of an idea and the answer. What do you do when you find someone that is perfect for you but you can't be with them. And to future explain this situation, the girl I am currently living with in Florida is the girl I like. But here is how I see it we both think each other are cute. But that is the end of it, I see what type of guys she likes and it's definitely not me. I try to stay positive but the negativity does happen to get a hold of me a lot fast. Not to mention the fact that we flirt with each other all the time. And also my worst half gets the better of me and I actually get jealous that she is talking to some other guys that I know, but I don't wanna say jealous more like I am concerned cause I know that two out of three of them are scum bags but can act good for a little while. And some of them it's not a like a personal things just that, ok I guess I am jealous. So most there is a lot of times with her where I am trying to stay positive but in the back of my head I am saying that I am not good enough for her and she likes some other dude in NY and has a boyfriend. I am concerned about my mental status here.  So the question is that do you do to someone who you like and know would be a perfect girl for you? The answer I would get if i asked someone or if someone read this stupid blog is "Just tell her" but any realist will know that If you tell someone that you like them and the feeling isn't mutual that things can get weird and you lose that friend. Also I am talking in person not on the computer or text, lets be real those are easy to forget or "lost"

Florida

So I made it to Florida on my overall trip to New York mostly to see this girl Jenisse. Well let me just say that she is better looking in person but also what I was afriad of is that she has too many people drooling over her. Also after chilling with her and see what type of people she hangs put with I do see that my preparation were not in vain. And just for future reference prior to coming to Florida I basicly brain washed myself to make sure that any feeling I might have for this girl are gone. But hanging out with her does make it hard. Well off to the beach and will update later.

So these days have been weird my pop found out he has only a fatty mass around his heart which is bad but fixable. I went out with this girl from work and she is a doll but nothing like back home. Will be sandblasting my motorcycle today. Well back to work.

So this week has been kinda stressful, mostly cause I am settling into my newly appointed roll at work and that my dad might have cancer and kinda more or less debating on what is gonna happen. No matter what my dad is in a bad predictable, either he`s gonna go for risky surgery or chemo. So how should I feel about this, I`m not sure so i resorted to listening to metal to help with it. Also I feel my last nice guy string busting for the mere fact that people are annoying. I hate when people know what bugs me and continue to do it, if you aren't gonna or might not call me back don't tell me you are and don't

So this past week has been quite a interesting one to say the least. First I found a cheap motorcycle that I can fix up and ride around, then I got a phone call that my pops might have cancer and then Thursday I`m told I am the manager of all EMS and got a raise. Please some one tell me what I should be feeling. With all  that said most of my day is gonna be modding my linux programs. I really wanna get tethering to work on my lap top so I can bring it to work. Also I have a feeling I`m not gonna get that bike..

I haven't posted in a few days, mostly due to working too much and what not. I turned 21 this week and went out last night and got my tattoo and went out shooting pool. I got to make a confession I do like my cousins friend but shes an idiot, and I been good at making sure she knows that I ain't playing games. My cuz is kinda dating this dude and I must say he seems like a geniune dude but these days people can lie all day. But if not I am happy for her, Today's is going to be mostly a productive day, I sewed my blanket closed and stuffed it with some more stuffing, trying to install Fedora on my new Laptop and maybe get my headlights fixed, I think its just the ground line being broken or maybe the light.

Ok so it might have taken longer then I or anyone thought but I need to change myself. i don't want to do anything super crazy, I just wanna lose 80 pounds two pants sizes and three shirt sizes, also i wanna get rid of my acne that has plagued me for ever. So once my pay check clears the bank and I get my income tax I'm really gonna get started but this is the statistics so far, I started at 260 pounds pant 44 shit XXXL, Currently I'm about 240 pounds 42 pants XXL shirt. Though its still a little tight it's getting better.

So today at work I should have known it was gonna be a bad days, when I was running late. But maybe a half hour after getting to work I was talk I got my first write up,due to some errors on the claims I worked. I'm really upset because I am actually trying hard because I like this job a lot. But I wonder if I am just missing things or if I'm that stupid, cause the work isn't that hard. But I guess I should just count my blessings because if they didn't thing I got this they would have let Me go right? Maybe this is the source of my depression, knowing that i might not get this job and get fired cause then i don't know what I'd do. Ugh well i guess ill ride out this day and try to figure out what I'm doing like what I'm doing for dinner. its funny they call people who don't eat anemic, but what you call someone who can eat? I say poor maybe their is some terminology that i can use and get some government funding, that seems that is the thing these day.

Another thing that's wrong with me these days is friends, not so much friends but the lack of. Not that I am Mister popular but I had some friends that I could chill with when ever I want. What made me think of this was my cuz hanging with her friends and how different  they were to my friends and it occurred to me, maybe I won't make any friends down here. I mean they way they act, they are more immature then people from new York. Which is funny cause people say I'm immature well I guess these kids must be really immature. Also the girls down here are kinda old school I guess? They all have problems or kids, so I'm probably gonna be lonely is all aspects. I guess this is karma, but my question is when does karma stop and howmuch good does it take to make good karma?  Well I never thought I would write this stuff down but I do feel somewhat better. Well I guess the best thing that has happened these days is my motorcycle adventure might be closer then I thought.

Real recognizes real right? wrong! people wouldn't know what real was if you slapped them with a ten pound bag of it. Real use to be what you can see touch taste and smell, now it's about who can lie the best and get other people to lie for them. I guess the government has a lot to do with this, I mean they say we learn our best and worst from our parent and they learn it from theirs blah blah but who in the end is the teacher? I believe it has a lot to do with the government and I ain't one those "the government controls us" blah blah, but I just wanna make a point. When I was a sophomore in high school I dress "abnormal", band tee-shirt, chains, dragons what ever. Then all of a sudden that was the "hip" thing to do cause people like Lil Wayne was wearing it. I mean where do people stop copying are they all just water, and reflect what others do?

This post is going to be realistically long, because this is something that I know for fact and in my personal life. More recently I have been trying to eat healthier, not as a "New Years" resolution but just to lost some weight and get back into a shape other then a circle. But I have come to the conclusion that I'm probably going to be a lonely man when i grown even older, or gonna have a wife that I really don't like or love. I say that especially living in Texas, Yesterday at my Cuz Super Bowel party, BTW Green Bay kicked ass but it was a good game, some of her guy friends came over and I`m just saying that these dude make me hate the guys in Texas. I`m noticing more and more that they aren't much different from one another. They all "herd" towards girls, maybe its my assholeness or my lack of wanting to be a good guy but I mean my Cuz girls had these dudes around their fingers. And I know most if not all are not getting the choochie. Please someone in cyber space help me out.

I am losing all faith in humanity.

I think people that don't spell half the sentence correctly online are pathetic. I'm not saying that I am perfect but there's spell check these days come on

Well yesterday was a total bust, didn't get my work done. Well going in hard this morning so I can relax, but I still can`t believe the entire state of Texas is still shut down,

Angie thank you for the distraction.

Well not sure if this is the right thing to do but got five days worth of work, going to try to get this company caught up. I must admit I really like this job, I mean it's called work but minus this one girl, it's a lot of fun. Though honestly I never liked the idea of bringing work home, mostly cause work should be at work and home should be home. But this lady I work for is really nice. I hope i bring a contribution to this company that will make it prosper, Well Yo Ho off to work I go.

Although I`m not really new to the whole blogging thing, I guess it`s just time to start again and see what comes about. Mostly this is gonna be random spurts of thoughts that I might have. Like how the entire state of Texas, well maybe just Huston, has shut down for the day because of the threat of snow. Really? The threat of know? I mean don`t get me wrong if I saw a tornado I`d be out but I mean it`s only three inches of snow. Well the good things is that they let us out early. Though its might be a bad thing if they didn't pay us, Well I'll just look to the future, like if the schools are closed I get to work at home. :)